Double the fun

During our tww we went on vacation for my birthday. We went to Boston for the first time and it was great. Right before we left my (pregnant) cousin/bestfriend was in town for my birthday and we decided to test in the morning. We originally decided to test everyday to take off the pressure. I tested and there was no line, I didn't test the day after. That night DH asked if I would test in the morning and I said yes. I did and got two lines, had to drag the blank out of the trash to show DH and prove that the trigger tested out. We tested everyday of our vacation too and watched the line get darker and darker. We had our first and second betas with numbers like 2805 and 5800+. Yesterday was DH birthday and we were scheduled for our first U/S. We saw two heartbeats, two growing babies.

Here is our U/S story: So up until yesterday we knew there could be two but had no confirmation. It is late June and anyone who doesn’t work in the medical field does not know this but July first is the new year for medicine, everyone graduates and moves up and newbies come in. Usually the last two weeks of June are transition for this soon to be chaos of new roles. So there was a new doctor (probably a new fellow) working with my normal fellow at the fertility center. She found the baby and listened to the heart, my doc was showing her how to measure and save things on the U/S. and she didn’t know me at all, so after all that, while me and DH are wondering if this is everything, my doc says we have to scan and see if there are two. She does some scanning, baby two is always more “squished” he says and we see something, zoom in and listen and there we have it another heartbeat. DH grabbed my arm and kissed me and then it was all smiles and happiness while they measured everything on twin B. DH did ask me on the way home if I have any friends with twins, I have an aunt/fam friend but hers are 14 now, I told him this, I also told him the ladies I talk to on ravelry that have twins from the IVF thread. His response was: I guess we will just wing it, we are good at that anyway. It was cute.

So double the trouble, double the fun. We will be playing along acting like we know what we are doing.

One week...

It has been one week since we transfered two beautiful embryos. Of our 8 eggs, all were mature and ICSI was used. 6 of those fertilized and created pretty good "textbook" embryos. We transferred two 8 cells, one with no fragmentation, and one with slight fragmentation. The other four made into snowflakes. It gives me great joy to know those snowflakes are there.

Unfortunately, my beta wont be until 2w2d after transfer because we transferred on the weekend and they offered to do it a day early but we will be out of town, so instead we have to wait extra days. That being said, today marks one week down. The progesterone shots are not the worst thing ever but they are really starting to hurt worse, not less, and my queasy DH seems to be getting queasier not less. We ice before hand which helps. I also hold the med in my armpit to warm it up, which helps. He massages afterward and if I am lucky he massages again in the morning with lotion which probably helps the most. But I did learn yesterday that he always aims for the exact same spot with the needle, like bullseye, so I told him tonight to try and aim for 2 o'clock instead.

My newly pregnant cousin is coming into town and I have not seen her since her news, I believe she is 14 weeks today. She is also my best friend and I am hoping her baby comes and chats with my babies on how great life is in the uterus and they want to stick around. Hubbby and I leave for Boston on Monday. This is our trip this year and it happens to fall on my bday so I am super excited. At the least I will have super fun things from my trip to post if my beta goes bad.

Eight is great

So it looks as though that extra day helped, they retrieved 8 eggs on Wednesday and this morning they called to say all 8 were mature enough for ICSI and 6 fertilized overnight. We are so happy with this number, if everything goes well from here we will have some snowflakes which makes me very happy.

We start PIO tonight. Overall, the injections weren't terrible. Sometimes they hurt, sometimes they didn't. I was usually nauseous in the morning and bloated all the time. Sleep cycle was off and totally constipated the entire time.. and still. 8 eggs, totally worth it.

one more day

So we had our 3rd u/s today. The first wasn't hopeful, looked as though my right ovary wasn't responding to the meds and left had 4-5 growing symmetrical and perfect. Fast forward to the second u/s which was right after my acupuncture session, and my R has one hanging out the right size, 1 > 10mm and several less than and pretty sure the good number on the left is 5. Today we go in, it looks about the same just everything is slightly bigger, about 4 hanging out in the 10-12 range and the doc says we will trigger tonight... In the early afternoon I get a call from the doc saying my estradiol is looking way better than anticipated and he thinks my eggs could benefit greatly from stimming one more day and changing trigger to tomorrow. I was so happy, see my DH and I fit into the IF category where we have both male and female factors, my factor being low ovarian reserve. That is the reason I am on the flare protocol first time around. But my estradiol after stimming apparently means it was not as bad as we thought. So today I am so proud of my ovaries and I am hoping this last stim is enough to help those 10-12s catch up and become mature retrievable eggs.

On another note, these shots suck. Sometimes I don't feel the needle but most of the time I do, and they sting, all of mine sting for about 10 minutes or so. But I only have one more stim med tomorrow and then its on to the PIO and that will be worse. Ohh, and I found out that because I am transferring on a Saturday, I have extra days added to my 2ww before the beta, because my clinic does not bring people in to do them on the weekend... yuck.

Other than that I am doing great, nausea being my biggest side effect.

can I get a heat wave

Last night it got quite chilly here, high 40's and to me that it cold. That being said I woke up at sometime last night in a full on soaked sweat... hot flash number one. That along with the fact that I could not get to sleep for like an hour which is very out of character for me. But that could have been my own fault and not the meds. I went to bed a little early with DH home, and I had pepsi last night for the first time in almost a week. And all but the hot flash could also be attributed to AF who showed up Tuesday as I took my last BCP. I was very irritable with the cat too. Carlos is a lover, and for the last 9 years this cat has practically slept under my chin every night. He usually jumps on the bed by my feet, walks on top of my entire body, across my stomach and my chest and then rests under my chin. He also learned early in life that he is more likely to get my attention (without attitude) if he walks across me and breaths my breath right at my nose, than he is if he meows for food (like my late kitty Paxton). So this is our routine but this morning I was over it. Don't worry, Carlos and I have made up already, he is hanging out with me at the computer now :)

Lupron Day 1

I gave myself my first shot today. I am a nurse and I have given more shots than I could even count, I have also had many shots. However, this was the first time ever that I had given myself a shot. Because of this I decided that I would draw everything up, and give myself the shot on the couch and immediately meditate while listening to circle & bloom. Everything does not always go according to plan but it was close enough. I gave myself the shot and litterally at the same time my phone rings and it is my hubby. I let it go because I am still injecting but I think I went in a little to far because of it. I am very lean and don't have all that excess around my belly area (my thighs are a different story). I called him back then put in my headphones to meditate. I had already set the oven timer in case I fell asleep. I am one of those people who can fall asleep anywhere in seconds. Although I have listened to a few of the tracks on this CD already and have not fallen asleep. I did meditate some but it was stinging for a while and I found it hard to clear my mind, eventually though it worked and I finished the track and got up to start my day. I think I will do this again tonight since I am lucky enough to have these first few days of my shots off from work. I didn't take them off it just worked out that way. I have also decided since I am doing am and pm lupron I will do exact opposite sides of the abdomen to try and minimize bruising and create balance.

I start my new-old job monday. I am going in at nine to finish paperwork and stuff so I will have to bring both am and pm doses of all 4 shots with me, hopefully this works out well.

IVF #1 Lupron Flare Protocol

I find this helpful when I am reading other blogs looking for doses of what the future may hold.
I am young but have elevated FSH and a low antral follicle count for my age, this means I have probable diminished ovarian reserve, so my RE is breaking out the big guns early and putting me on the Lupron Flare Protocol to minimize suppression, she is also starting me on higher doses of Follistim and adding small HCG because of my lean body mass.

April 10 - AF is here.

April 12 - Start BCP

April 19 - 3D saline sonogram/baseline

April 21 - IVF med class, + DH and I celebrate 4 yr anniversary

May 3 - Take last BCP ***(My clinic would have allowed me to start this April 25 but this worked out better for us)

May 5 - Start Lupron 5 units twice a day, Doxycycline for both DH and I
...................thats 2 shots a day

May 7 - Start Follistim 300 units, and Ovidrel 20 units in evening
...................thats 2 more shots a day

May 11 - First U/S and bloodwork

May 13 - U/S and bloodwork

May 16 - U/S and bloodwork

May 16-18 - possible trigger (Ovidrel 250mcg + stop IVF meds)
May 18-20 - possible retrieval with ICSI (+zpack )
**Next day - Start Progesterone oil shots and Vivelle patches
May 21-23 - possible transfer
June 6 - possible beta

Sing a song of hope...

I consider myself to be a realist. My DH is the optimist of our house, and sometimes it gets on my nerves. As a realist I allow myself to consider all possibilities without focusing on one or the other, ADD maybe. That being said, My RE gave me a sliver of hope today. I had my 3D sonogram and she said I have a beautiful uterus. She said that she thinks the only reason we are not pregnant right now is because she believes that my eggs have never gotten to see sperm. On the flip side to that though is the fact that I have a low count. This is my second US and both times I had seven follicles. Seven could be a lucky number. But I am 28. I asked her the normal number for my age and she said 10-20, yikes. She said this is why I will be on high stimulation with lupron flare.

So my job now is to show up to appts. take injections like a champ. Convince my ovaries to grow lots of eggies but not OHSS. The provide a good home in my “beautiful” uterus for 9 months. My DH would reply “I like a challenge” whereas I am feeling the pressure.

Here are some pictures of my furbabies just because...

Prince Carlos

Kaya the DIVA

fuzzy pic of The Black Dog

A little about us...

When I originally thought of starting a blog, I named it my world unravled, because I thought it would be about the craziness that is my life with a play on my favorite hobby (knitting). I have yet to write on it until now. I didn't know then that it would be an IF (infertility) blog. But the truth is that IF is the craziness in my life right now. And it has gotten me blogging. Hopefully to help others (as so many IF blogs have helped me), and to help me capture and release moments in this wild ride of life.

DH (John) and I have been TTC (trying to conceive) for 18months. Anyone who has spent any time actually TTC and not "trying not to prevent" knows that it has its ups and downs. It can be exhausting. By cycle 3 I had OPKs (ovulation predictor kits). By cycle 5, OPK was finally testing positive. By cycle 7 I was temping. By cycle 8 I was pretty good at getting OPK right within a day or two. By cycle 13 we were going to see the OB. Our TTC journey from there deserves its own post later this week.

Back to my family. John and I are both from FL. We moved away 4 years ago to NC. We now live 10+ hrs from 90% of our family. We moved to NC after job lay-off #1. At the same time as cycle 1 TTC we were going through lay-off #2. Now hubby has a good job were he spends 60% of his time in Jax, NC, 2+ hrs away from our home.

We have 3 furbabies. Big Black Lab, Cody, aka. Black Dog. He is really sweet, and really goofy. He is a happy dog who only gets in trouble once and he will never do that again, ever. He loves fetch and the water. We have a skinny husky, Kaya, aka Girlfriend and Missy. She is the coolest dog. She has a lot of personality, and is so stubborn. She has a lot of personality, she is sassy and quite funny if you can read into her "woooo-ing." We also have old man Carlos. He is a gray house cat who just turned 9 years. He actually acts quite young because Kaya keeps him on his toes. He has no fear of her which is good cause she is harmless though she may "tell" you otherwise. But he is a little cautious around the black dog because he is often clumsy and unaware where he steps.

We live in a big house fit for us and kids. Although we don't plan on selling it we now live more financially smart and buy things more for the two of us and not for the family we hope to have one day.